to thy rest

I sing.

I don’t know if I mentioned this before, but I am in a sorority. Not to give away my complete identity, but it’s an international sorority with chapters all across Canada and the United States… mostly in the States. I’ve been a sister since 2003 and have had the pleasure of meeting some of the greatest people I have met in my life. Throughout my university career this sorority helped me form a new family (literally – with a big sister, a twin sister, 2 little sisters, a grand-little and a great-grand little, not to mention countless numbers of nieces) and friendships that I couldn’t imagine living without.

But I have to – because yesterday that thought became real.

One of our sisters… When we were rushing her she stood out; because she was a survivor. She and I sat on the floor colouring cards for sick kids when she informed me that she too was one of those sick kids. She had muscular cancer – and as far as anyone knew, she had beaten it. She was shy but friendly, open but cautious, and I really liked her.

She eventually became our sister through some wielding and dealing with her big, someone that I can’t say I like very much but that’s not the point of this post. We wanted her – but circumstances being as they were it was a bit complicated. But it was done and for the year and a bit that she was our sister, she changed so many lives and made us all so proud to be who we were.

This summer the cancer returned, or to be more correct, it never left. It was just hiding so well that we couldn’t find it in time to destroy it before it could destroy her. She left school to travel and be with her family and friends… much like she left the hospital to be with her family.

Last evening around 6:00 she passed. Near death she regained her personality and became the girl we all knew and loved. And then she left us.

Understanding the pathophysiology and understanding palliative care, and understanding that death isn’t something we can cure… doesn’t make it easier to say goodbye. Normally I’m the kind that looks for answers; some people cry, I look for reasons why. But I know why. I know.

Comments are open for this post – I might not answer but in advance, thank you for reading. I’ll try and catch up in the coming days.

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~ by Carrie on December 12, 2007.

16 Responses to “to thy rest”

  1. Oh Carrie! This post is incredibly beautiful! I’m so sorry to hear about your loss! That sort of sisterhood is so rare and beautiful – you were both lucky to have it for however long!

  2. My condolences go out to you and her family.

  3. i’m thinking of you and your sister. i’m very sorry.

  4. Carrie, I am so sorry to hear this. How gut renching. I’m glad you have poeple around you to hug, that’l make all the difference.

  5. My condolences to you, your sorority sisters and her family. *hug*

  6. It is devastating to lose anyone but moreso a friend who helped change people for the better.

    As long as you keep her in your heart and mind, she will not have left.

  7. Carrrie I am so sorry you lost someone so special to you…I kwow there are no words to take away the pain or rhetoric of questions as to why she had to die – but I can say that I care and hope that you know you touched her life just as she touched yours. My thoughts sre with you…

  8. Oh my dear, I’m so sorry to hear about your loss! I’m thinking of you right now my friend.

  9. Just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas … hope you are doing better …

  10. Oh my… so sorry for what you’re going through and the loss you’ve recently experienced. My thoughts are with you…

  11. Oh my Carrie, thanks for sharing this story. Cancer really is awful and to take a life so early makes it even harder. Good luck with this.

    P.S. I’ve always had a soft spot for sorority girls.

  12. @ Bre ~ Thank you very much; we were both very lucky.

    @ Airiam ~ Thanks girl.

  13. @ skcitygirl ~ Thank you.

    @ ATS ~ Nice to hear from you again; thank you.

  14. @ Ruby ~ Thanks sista.

    @ George ~ Thank you George; I know, she’ll always be in my heart.

  15. @ Princess Extraordinaire ~ Thank you very much – we’re getting by.

    @ brandy ~ Thanks brandy 

  16. @ a life uncommon ~ Thank you.

    @ egan ~ haha; well, no matter the letter, sorority girls do it better. And thank you.

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