Praise You Like I Should

One of my favourite things in life right now are the opportunities that I get from time to time, mostly because of what my parents do, to dress up and make believe that I’m this extraordinarily sophisticated and charming little socialite when really in reality I’m your everyday ordinary kitchen spatula. Not to go into detail about what my parents do, but going to parties and eating little shrimp is common. Anyway whenever I am lucky enough to attend with my dad I relish in the chance to dress all pretty and act all polite, drink my martinis and feign paying attention to whatever the person I am entertaining is saying at the moment. In June I know I’ll be attending one or more of these parties, answering the same questions in different dresses – and hopefully gaining a chance to meet him or him if they chose to return to paradise on a certain someone’s bill.

Anyways, I don’t know if it was because I was reading this months issue of Glamour (Thanks Beth for recommending it!!) and the lovely words of the lovely SJP, or because I heard “Stupid Girls” on my iPod on my way to work, or because I just recently signed a petition to NOT free Paris Hilton, or because it’s so common place that it’s not really thought about – but it really is true that women these days are gaining more publicity for behaving badly than for changing the world for the better. With the exception of Oprah, of course, but Oprah in herself is an exception.Oprah Winfrey!

I linked these two thoughts together because when I tell people what my parents do the automatically assume the worst about me and my lifestyle (Please note that I didn’t even have enough to blog about for more than 4 entries about my supposed extraordinary lifestyle – so clearly I am missing something here) even though it’s completely untrue. You don’t see me driving drunk and then with a suspended license (Paris), shaving my head and getting more tattoos (Britney), snorting cocaine (Lindsay) and not wearing panties (all of the above)! You know what you do see me doing? Going to school – going to the gym – going to work. Going out on occasion but not since I turned 20 have I partied so hard I was hung over for days. Despite what friends or former ‘lovers’ (Philippe) claim to know and say about me – my actions speak louder than their words, and my actions are not full of mal-intent and bitterness. As I said above and say quite often, I am your everyday ordinary kitchen spatula, despite what some may chose to believe.

Anyways it’s been brought to my attention partly because of my team’s incredible performance thus far in the quest for Lord Stanley. As an avid fan for the past 15 years – through the hard times and the good – I’ve watched these men be celebrated and praised for their talents on the ice… and have a blind eye or worse, an admiring eye turned to their talents off the ice. It’s like being a celebrity for men is completely the opposite to women: the latter being more famous for what they do in ‘private’ than what they do in public – being more famous for their personal lives than for what they do as professionals. And it’s really starting to piss me off. I mean, seriously – who cares how much Oprah weights, weighed, will weight: she is saving the world. Who cares if SJP got a nose job: she is influencing the world. Who cares if Coco Chanel had many lovers in her lifetime: she changed the world. But apparently that’s all we care about in a woman – her weight, her beauty, and her sex life.

This is something that – try as I might – I simply cannot understand. Yes I have heard stories of the players I love to watch on the ice playing (in every sense of the word) as vigorously and audaciously in the club, on the road, hell, anywhere really. When you are who you are it’s not hard to get what you want without fear of judgment… that is, if you’re a man. And I am guilty of it too. I always say that is I were Jason Spezza I’d be twice the man-whore that people say he is… and if I were Ray Emery I’d have more clothing, more bling, more cars, more everything – if I were in their place – i.e., if I were a man in his place. Why? Because I could get away with bad behaviour without worrying about my reputation. Because I would have what a good number of people wish for – the absolute freedom to do as you please without consequences.

I suppose I am a part of the problem – I pass no judgment on whatever they actually do in their spare time. I can even say with a clear conscious that I didn’t judge Britney for her head-shaving or Lindsay for her addiction. But I know people that do – and while sticks and stones will break your bones, words hurt too. At least you can break the sticks and dodge the stones – fight back without having your defense fall on deaf ears. And why do we – and by we I mean women – do that to each other? Why are we so catty when we should celebrate these achievements? Is it because we’re jealous? Envious? Bitter? Maybe… but sometimes it seems as if men handle other mens fame better than women handle other womens fame. Men get inspired. Women get bitchy.

I know that this isn’t always the case. However, and there is always a however, it makes me sad to think that there is a possibility that – as a woman in 2007 – I might still be judged by women and men alike not on how intelligent I am, on the points that I bring up, or on the way I express my thoughts through my work or my writing… but by the way I look, how much I weight, how perfect my teeth will be, and how many times I have changed lovers. It’s scary to picture yourself – as a twenty, thirty, forty, or fifty something – standing to face and deliver what you can to the world when the same world is focused on tearing at your clothes.

I know how hard it is to watch another women get ahead of you in school, in work, at the gym, at anything – but instead of going to usual catty bitchy route… how about we try the route men seem to take: competition. Use those women as inspiration to raise yourself to a higher level then you have accustomed yourself to. Just image what we could accomplish if we inspire each other to rise instead of breaking each other to make the other fall.

… not bad coming out of watching game 3 in the playoffs.

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~ by Carrie on May 14, 2007.

15 Responses to “Praise You Like I Should”

  1. Good show on the migration! Glad to see that you’ve crossed over, and totally interested to see what this incarnation of your site will hold for you!

  2. I love Oprah, Ray Emery is super hot (but I too have seen him dripping skinny ladies at the bar and will be staying in my own corner to dance with my own girls) and yes- girls ARE catty. But there are more than just Oprahs proving them wrong, theres people like you! (PS What country do your parents/parent represent??)

  3. Amen! Great post. We sometimes tend to focus on the negative in others instead of the good. Maybe this is due to low self-esteem or jealousy. It really is just plain catty.

    You new site looks great!

  4. I agree- great post! It really is unfortunate how people in the public eye are portrayed and then judged. Quite superficially in many cases and it just isn’t fair.

  5. Loved this and well said! And I agree, Oprah is … the exception.

  6. I know I should comment about your post, but I’m a visual girl. I can’t get over the great new look of your blog. LOVE it!

  7. Carrie … we are a pretty damn shallow bunch. We look at the outside a lot more than we do the inside. We rag on people in order to make ourselves feel better. We take joy in reading about the misdeeds of celebrities, political leaders, anybody who happens to have their name in the headlines once in a while (see, they’re no better than we “regular” folk are.

    Alfredson is the biggest wuss in the league … boo Ottawa (but I really hate the Leafs). We’ll see what happens in game 4.

  8. hey girl

    sad to see you leave blogger, I must be odd but I love it! people just need to change their mastheads, I love the template tool it’s so easy

    regarding Oprah I LOVE HER always have ever since she wore her calvin’s and walked out with that wagon of fat when she did slimfast LOL

    I adore her , she has faults like the rest of us which is all good!

  9. Wow….you made the jump. I’ve been thinking of doing the same thing. I have questions though….email me! mr.writenow@hotmail.com

  10. OK, I hate doing this. I’m typically not a tagger, but you’ve been tagged.

    pursuitofstrange.blogspot.com

    (Besides, I’m helping to draw traffic to your new site. You owe me.)

  11. Great post! You’re so right, there’s an insane double standard and we keep perpetuating it!

  12. It is unfortunate that we allow society to have such double standards. It is as if we allow men to get away with a tad more under the guise that “boys will be boys.” There is so much in this post!

  13. @ Kyla Bea — thanks girl! Hope you are enjoying your trip!!

    @ ATS — Totally: love the analogy… why is it that a hockey player who strives to be ‘different’ always seen with the same cookie-cutter skinny blonde beauties? ANYway… my parents are Canadian, so we’re representing you!! And thank you – I try to pay it forward (praise and encouragement respectively) from all the lovely ladies who have praised and encouraged me.

    @ beth — You’re right – it is just plain catty and such a shame really. Women can do SO much better… and thank you!

    @ brookem — I guess it’s a part of fame that many people aren’t thinking of… giving up there status as ‘people’ in exchange for the status of ‘star’. And it’s such a shame.

  14. @ brandy — Oprah is SUCH an exceptional woman… I am just in perpetual awe of her. And thank you!

    @ UC — A haha no worries! I am glad you like the new site!!

    @ George — Oh captain my captain! Anyways I agree with what you said before the Alfie remark 🙂 – we are such a shallow bunch… and even the best of us slip a few times.

    @ B — I’ve tried to change the masthead, but I think on a Mac it’s a bit different, especially when I’m using their internet browser Safari. Oh well! I can’t even upload stuff … I had to do the switch at work, but ssshhh!!

  15. @ Mr.WriteNow — thanks again for the tag and I hope the advice helped!

    @ Ruby — I think that aftering seeing it myself a few times (because often we can ‘know’ what the deal is but not really… if that makes sense at all) I can hopefully begin to catch myself from falling into that trap – because sometimes it’s just so damn easy!

    @ The Exception — Ooh I hate that phrase SO much! It’s like a perpetual ‘get out of jail free’ card that boys are allotted… and it’s SO unfair!

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