… are a girl’s best friend

In this festivus season, among many things, I got to thinking about girlfriends. I read an article recently in a trashy tabloid magazine (shut up; it’s my thing, let it go) about a growing trend with 20-something girls, at least, the 20 something girls in the celebrity world. Anyway, in this piece the author makes an observation that the relationship between girl friends are replacing the level of relationship once held by boyfriends. Celebrity ‘couples’ like Paris & Britney, Marisa & Rachel and Oprah & Gayle are constantly and consistently seen together… well, maybe just Oprah & Gayle, doing all sorts of everyday mundane activities that are always 10x better with the pleasure of someones company: shopping, coffee-ing, holding hands and of course, partying until the wee-hours of the morning.

Now in the real world where every day ordinary relationships aren’t so scrutinized, this isn’t really new. At least not to me. Girls nights out, ‘dates’ and everlasting friendships have always existed with bonds that are so strong that they sometimes defy logic. I know: I have had the honour and pleasure of having such relationships that defy logic, escape explanation and just exist, as if we were created for each other. I mean, after I read the article I got to thinking about these relationships that I have with my girlfriends, and how close and important they all are to me in their own special way. With Angelica, Mackenzie, Christie and countless others in my life, my heart and on my mind I can’t help but wonder… are girlfriends the new boyfriends?

In this day and age, a Manolo-lite can and does have a number of loves in her life. I know I do. My area of study, my family, my friends… although sometimes those terms are interchangeable. Maybe girlfriends aren’t the new boyfriends… they’re your new family. She’s there when your man is not (if you have one; and if you don’t she’s that much more important), and try as he might the men in your life will never understand you the way the girls in your life already do. They can read you like a magazine; seeing right through your filler and pretty pictures to get at what’s REALLY bothering you. They call you on your bullshit without making you feel like a failure, and the girlfriends who do that like my girl Mackenzie are the girls you want and need in your life. They see the real you… and love you all the same.

Maybe Charlotte was right in making her girlmates her soulmates, because really, it is just as hard, if not harder, to find a true girl friend than a good boyfriend. Break-ups with girlfriends are harder on the heart, your soul, your other relationships at work and at play because … well, that level of intimacy took years to establish, and so will the pain of its sudden and often nasty endings. Luckily I have had only 1 break-up with a girlfriend of mine, and I’m twice as lucky since I still had and have the girlfriends who picked up the pieces of me while we all floated on ok.

One of those girlfriends… let’s call her “Chris”, is a girl I’ve known for a while whose friendship I can’t even begin to describe. She is a girl of few words but when she speaks I listen. She has the uncanny ability to simplify whatever it is I am going through without dismissing the smallest detail to find the truth underneath the confusion. I credit her for smacking enough sense into me countless numbers of times, and most recently for getting me out of my destructive and abusive relationship with Philippe. She also held me up when my relationship with Corporate… Well, when it made me not want anything at all. Chris is my conscience: I don’t know what I’d do without her. Kind of like the rest of my girlfriends, I’d be lost without them.

Don’t get me wrong here, there are plenty of backstabbing, manipulative girls out there who pass themselves off as your friends but quickly shed their civil-persona to unveil their true nature. So that makes finding good girlfriends even harder. So this festivus season, let your girlfriends know how much you care for them; and the ones who must leave your life, let them know even more. Finding a good girlfriend in high school, in college, or in life, is like finding a diamond in a stock-pile of cubic zirconias. They all may look the same, but you’d never ever for a second think of trading away the diamond.

Just like your girlfriends.


~ by Carrie on December 15, 2006.

6 Responses to “Diamonds”

  1. Carrie. Brava. I totally love this post. Because what you say is right. Your relationships with your best friends are way more special than a relationship with someone you meet on

    I personally am friends with many females, as I think they are better people to hang out with and talk with. Guys usually are just plain annoying, because most arent themselves, but rather an idea of what they think their friends would like them to be. You know? Whereas girls, for the most part are more mature and better conversationalists.

    I mean, dont get me wrong, I do have a few male friends, but it’s the female ones I appreciate more. They are the real diamonds in my life. They’re the ones I can count on whenever I need them and vice versa.

    And it’s nice to know you are blessed with people like that in your life as well. Although…I must say, or rather, must ask…why come Angelica and Christie got no love in your post and only Mackenzie? I’m not looking to start World War III, but I am just curious…

  2. Good call DT; It’s not that I value one girlfriend over another, it’s just that if I started on all the reasons why I love all my girlfriends this post would never end. I though since I had mentioned Angie, Christie and Mac already in some post from way-back I’d throw a shout-out to Chris here.

    I completely agree with your observation about guy-friends. They really do send out the perception of whatever they think they SHOULD be as friends instead of what they really CAN be. But it sounds like you get that, and that makes you an amazing guyfriend to compliment your amazing girlfriends.

  3. cheers girlfriend, from one diamond to another

  4. […] would berate me and call me insensitive and selfish. And I believed him… until my dear friend Chris slapped some sense into me at work one […]

  5. […] was talking with Mackenzie after her first first date in a while – with someone she just happened to dub “The Most […]

  6. […] presents Diamonds posted at Carrie In The […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: