The Best Date I’ve Ever Been On…

because sometimes, all you need is yourself… and a big bag of popcorn.

I find it fitting that I wrote this on the back of my ill-fated Do/Don’t List: a small tally I keep of the guys I see that I would either Do or Don’t when I find myself solo and totally bored. I’ve been thinking about a lot of things I do that apparently most people perceive as “fiercely independent”, the List being one of them. However, the first thing that popped into my mind as I was walking today would be the dates that I go on … with myself. More specifically, the movies that I have seen, in theatres mind you, by myself.

A lot of my friends whom I have discussed this with, agreeing that while it is completely within my character to do so, would at the same time be mortified beyond belief if they ever had to go to a movie, or found themselves at a movie, all by their lonesome. “How pathetic”, like being stood up, convinced that if they were in the very same situation the whole world, or at least the people around them at the moment, would stop and stare, point and laugh at the poor dateless-friendless wonder, sitting alone and lost in a dark and dreary theatre, wolfing down an extra-large extra buttery bag of popcorn…

But guess what. What others might believe to be pathetic, I perceive and believe to be the greatest assertation of independence. To my friends who have teased my flying solo in public with “I’m not pathetic’s” I answer … well, I’m not insecure.

The way I see it is simple: I’m a very spontaneous individual who likes to do what she wants to do. I live by myself; therefore I am accustomed to and enjoy the pleasure of my own company. I no longer have a roommate who I can get to tag along on my misadventures, but that doesn’t mean my misadventures are no longer lived out. What is the difference between going out alone and sitting at home alone? Granted one is cheaper and requires less movement, but really, in the end you’re still solo… In my case, I choose not to hide from the world, but to embrace it, even if it’s only me. Just because I don’t have anyone with me wherever I go doesn’t make me a loner, an introvert, or a loser. On the contrary; I have a lot of friends, some times too many friends that I have problems managing them all in between my already hectic lifestyle. So I do have people that I care about and who care about me, they simply are not consistently around me and I am ok with that.

Especially when I am watching a movie. Seriously, I am not even talking to you for 2 hours, maybe even 3, let alone looking at or paying attention to you for that matter. And really, I don’t care how good of a friend you are, if you knew me and my movies you probably wouldn’t want to join me for my 3rd viewing of “The Da Vinci Code” in theatres, or my 4 pilgrimages to “Batman Begins” when it was still playing at the cinema, and I understand that. Nobody in their right mind would want to see a movie 3 or 4 times with me in a theatre, but that doesn’t mean I still won’t go. Just because someone else isn’t there with me doesn’t mean I will sit at home and be stagnant. I simply do not need constant company to validate my existence, or more accurately, feed my addictions to my particular favourite movies I like to re-watch and re-learn from.

I feel that going to a movie by yourself in public is a sign of courage. You are openly saying to the world “hey; I’m alone, and I’m cool.” Why should the fact that I am single prevent me from going on a movie date? Or going anywhere in public, especially areas where happy couples congregate? It is 2006; as an independent, Manolo-lite female, I have the right and duty to live my life to the fullest, whether I am attached or not. So really ladies, screw sex: movies by yourself, by myself, is probably the most liberating act I’ve ever done and will continue to do for myself, by myself. You should give it a try; and you single men too. Go on a date with yourself. Take yourself to a movie. Make it whatever movie you would like to see, whether you’ve seen it a million times, plot lines be damned, sit your fabulous-ass down with popcorn, candy and a drink for dinner, and enjoy the pleasure of your own company doing exactly what you would like to do. Except while you’re on this date there will be one obvious difference – you will be free; free of worrying if someone else will/won’t like the movie, if you’re eating too much or too little, if what you’re eating will actually go in your mouth and not down your shirt… I can go on and on. The point is; I go to movies by myself, and I enjoy every minute of it.


~ by Carrie on July 18, 2006.

3 Responses to “The Best Date I’ve Ever Been On…”

  1. […] my string of men came and went.  When my brother and I chatted in the airport in August of my single summer, I told him that I didn’t hate Duke the way I used to – that he could talk to me if he wanted […]

  2. AH!!! SOMEONE LIKE ME!!!! I know of ONE guy who does this as well, but everytime I’ve run into him “in the act”, he always looks embarrassingly embarrassed. I don’t understand why that’s embarrassing. For goodness sakes, we came into the world by ourselves (unless you’re a twin, and thats another matter) and will leave by ourselves! So why the hell can’t we enjoy anything in it by ourselves?
    Great post, I’m officially a fan 😉

  3. I just had a similar experience going to my first movie by myself. It so weird the way that is such a social no no. The only thing I can figure is that movies are so associated with dating that going to them alone feels like going on a date alone. In reality, it is silly because it is not like you get to talk during a movie. In a way it is a perfect activity to do alone. You can read my blog on this same topic if you would like.

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